FIERCE! Anja Garbarek Is In Our Sights!

AHOY!

Morning came after my encounter from the message in a bottle. And off the coast of our little island stood an interesting creature floating above the tide, looking side to side like a chameleon looking for a fly...


Flashback to a few years ago when Violatrix and Brionity were taking a long drive from New York to Longwood Gardens in Pennsylvania's Brandywine Valley for a traditional Friday Culture Adventure. We had just left the gardens and had a few samples at the local vineyard.

Soon after our departure on the homeward bound leg of our trip, Brionity invited Violatrix into the depths of his musical collection.

I've always found liquor to be the best way to encounter new secrets.

I felt like I was on a cold, musky walk to the Cask of Amontillado. But no murder awaited for me this time (that, obviously, came later...). Instead, I blasted off the planet with a sinister launch piloted by the likes of a blond, gorgeous weirdo...


Anja Garbarek.

One of the Fierce Norwegian Ghetto Bitches! She is truly a weirdo. And we LOVE HER!!!!

The song, and the only song I was allowed to hear of hers for quite some time, began to play...



"WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT!?!?!" I yelled at Brionity. He giggled, like he always did when he had just revealed a secret from the other world. He quickly distracted me and played something else crazy, and oddly coincidental, the CD he then played had a kitty on the cover with big eyes...I still haven't heard that one again.

Flash Forward a couple of years and I find myself asking Brionity..."Hey, remember that drive and that 'OH MY, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?' song?

He pulled the CD from the large collection covering the apartment walls.

Oh wow.


I greeted Anja on the outer banks of the island, offering balloons for her mood. After all, she's not asking for much, now is she?

We immediately retreated to a nearby cabana where she revealed visual samples of her weirdest triumph ever, "Balloon Mood."

I watched...and listened...and knew that she possessed the heady performance artistry of Laurie Anderson, the looks of a European Lonnie Anderson, and the voice of an Angel A.

And with that, I knew that I was in the presence of a FNGB. I cowered and begged for forgiveness without even knowing why.

She reassured me that she was still in a mood and that I had nothing to fear...



*chills*

Strangely, but not really, I believed every word she sang.